I remember when I was a kid, I was so full of life. I was so full of energy. I buzzed around here to there, there to here and back. Just like a bee flying around from flower to flower. No one knew where I'd fly to next. It seemed chaotic, almost pure randomness-even to me. As I grew into a young man, those traits were still inherent in my mannerisms. Yet, I slowly began to forget the light of truth within myself.
Slowly but surely, the love in my heart began to grow cold. My attention began to turn into obsession. Self exaltation was growing into an ever part of my life. I fed it. It felt good to feel right and not wrong. The more someone tried to correct my behaviors, the more I became disobedient. I thought, "This doesn't feel good, so this must be wrong." That's where self exaltation began to manifest in me and grow. It grew because I believed that feeling. And that applies to anything in life. If a person believes something, it will become a truth-a false truth at best. The false truths I fed led me down a road where God was difficult to perceive.
He had taken away my bread and I didn't even realize it. He took away what little I had left. Slowly but steadily. I lived a long time without knowing God. Even as a child I was gifted. I took His gifts for granted. I didn't understand that these blessings were from the Father-not me. I didn't understand because I didn't want to understand. And that was reflected by my heart posture, my speech, and my everyday dealings. I didn't understand because I didn't believe Jesus. As he began to reveal himself to me, I slowly began to believe. How could I not? He became an undeniable presence in my life. He took away my bread and returned to me His bread. He returned to me His presence.
Jesus has delivered me from much. I still struggle, as we all do. Though now that He has given me new life in Him, I can breathe again. And it feels like breathing for the first time. I exalt the name of the Lord. I lift him high, high as I'm able to. A new song is coming from my heart and it is a lovely tune that brings me peace. Hail to the One who saves. His mercy endures forever. I pray this testimony blesses your heart. I love you. God is with you. Shalom Shalom
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