Turning Away from the Ashes of Doubt

The Lord brought me to 2 Samuel 23:8 this morning. He highlighted the name "Adino." In David's army, Josheb-basshebeth a Tahchemonite was the chief of the captains. He was also called Adino, because of the 800 men slain by him at one time. Adino means "his spear", and the Hebrew root word (adin) means "slender" or "delicate." I find this interesting because his nature was formidable, as warriors are known to be, but it was by his "spear" the 800 men were slain.

This reminds me of Moses. Moses was also known to be formidable. It was when he killed the Egyptian that he became formidable to his own peers, and this was before the exodus. Later, when he came back to lead God's people out of Egypt, it was by his staff that the Red Sea was parted. And then there was Paul who was called Saul before Jesus equipped him with the faith required to accomplish the assignment given him.

Of course, none of this was possible except with and by God. Just like the spear, the staff, and the faith, we are given tools, which is illustrated by these stories. These tools that God blesses us with is an extension of our faith, and God is the author of that same faith. Every believer is armed by God with tools tailored specifically to the person, according to their faith. The tools we wield differ from one person to the next, are similar by contrast, and every believer shares the same captain, who is Jesus Christ.

Jesus Seeks Your Well-being

 As I woke up this morning, a message from God was imprinted on my heart.  The Lord told me, "You have made me very glad, as you yourself have given with a cheerful heart.  It's time to break off that heaviness in your heart.  I am invading your heart and loosing in it my joy.  Rejoice!  This is a time for celebration.  It doesn't have to make sense, only that you believe me.  That is my desire for all of you.

 Remember when I told you two years ago that it is for my benefit I do this and not yours?  You made me very proud when you didn't hold my words against me.  I am doing a new thing, do you not perceive it?  Look at your heart now.  So fertile.  So beautiful.  I, the Lord have done this, and it is good.  Just like when I was near the Sea of Gennesaret, I, too have chosen your heart for good works.

 I know things haven't also been easy for you, but still you remain faithful to me.  This brings my heart great joy!  Despite your shortcomings, you still show up everyday and do right by my Father.  You do right by my children.  You have provided for the poor, when you yourself were poor.  Do not think I have not noticed.  I see you.  I love you.  Do not let the troubles of this world infect your heart.  Keep abiding in me.  As we abide in each other, my heart is revealed to those who cannot yet see me.  The world may count you worthless and a cheap rag to discard, but it is not so with me.

You are my beloved.  I love you.  You are mine."

Keep Guard and Observe

 I had a rough day yesterday.  Yesterday, I had a doctors appointment.  Everything was going smooth all the way up to me walking into the doctors office.  That's when everything began to shift.  Now, I didn't expect this visit to be a poor experience, but it turned into just that.  My doctor began to ask me questions, and as soon as I would begin to answer, she would cut me off and either tell me that's not what she asked or go on to her next question-without even looking at me.  This continued for several questions.  My chart wasn't even current, all the way back to when I was still in service.  I thought to myself, "How is that possible?  Did they somehow erase everything?"

 She has been refusing services for months-any requests I made known for my current conditions.  And so after several minutes of her being ingenuine with me, I became frustrated.  So, I confronted her about it and that's when she looked at me and sneered, "We don't do easy fixes over here!"  That was the last straw.  I said, "You people are quick to prescribe drugs that only make my conditions worse, which is an easy fix.  But I have been requesting a knee brace replacement for several months and you haven't lifted so much as a finger to help me."  She said, "Yes they told me, and I said no, he has to come see me.  I'm not going to put it in until he contacts me."  I then said, "I did.  I called your office but I can never get ahold of you."  She said, "No.  You have to schedule an appointment, not just call me."

 It continued like that for quite awhile, the back in forth between us, until finally she said, "Quit yelling at me, or I'm going to ask you to leave."  I became infuriated.  She knew she was wrong and she used her position to shame me.  She began to play the victim because I was calling her out on being unprofessional, rude and a liar.  I said, "I'm not yelling at you.  I'm raising my voice because you're not listening.  THIS! Is yelling."  She kicked me out.  I was wrong.  I shouldn't have taken it that far.  But it didn't stop there.  The moment I allowed my rage to reign is when I began to spiral.  Guilt and shame began to attack me to the point I had no desire to pray and I couldn't hear God clearly.  God is good though.  He sent me several random people to approach me and treat me with kindness.  I began to calm down and then I called my family.

 We do not wrestle against flesh and blood enemies, but against evil in the unseen realms and heavenly places.  I didn't cover myself before I left my home.  I didn't pray.  I stepped out from the hedge of protection God surrounds me with when I retaliated from a fleshly position.  I payed dearly for it.  There is power in prayer and there is power in the tongue.  I pray this lesson I learned can be of value to your faith walk.  In Jesus name.  Amen.  I love you.  God loves you.  Shalom Shalom